Whether youre a true New Yorker or (annoying) tourist, Im sure you think youve hit up plenty of boujee rooftops and overpriced festivals in the past few months but theres only six weeks of this
life-threatening heat wave summer left. Its time to really amp up the crucial areas of your life (social, sex, Instagram) with the most perfect (and only) summer bucket list youll need. Realistically, if youre seriously bored in New York City, then its your own goddamn fault.
^^^ Literally every time someone gets kicked out of a bar in the city.
1. Watch An Outdoor Movie With A View
Since suburbs or anything resembling John Deere-obsessed hicks are a foreign concept to those of us who are only outdoorsy in the sense that we enjoy blacking out on rooftops, that means drive-in theaters are pretty much non-existent, too. That is unless youre willing to drive like, an hour away, aka
I literally dont have my license thats not happening. Get the same experience, only better, by visiting Bryant Park on Monday nights or Brooklyn Bridge Park on Thursday nights for free film viewings. Ditch the Netflix and chill for once and bring the blanket here instead. Best part? Its free.
2. Buy Something With Too Many Calories At Smorgasburg
Even if you go every
weekend year, there will always be new additions to the citys most Instagrammed food market in Brooklyn. This summer, find something you havent tried yet at Smorgasburg and get it for the likes. Im not saying you actually have to eat it (does anyone eat the food they Insta?), all Im saying is youre guaranteed triple-digit likes.
3. Attend A Free Outdoor Concert In One Of NYCs Parks
This really grool program, SummerStage, hosts hundreds of free concerts scattered across the five boroughs. In efforts to represent diversity and other good deeds for the city, the summer festival brings in a wide range of artists and genres to perform. Whether youve heard of them or not, its free fucking live music where you can buy beers and call yourself cultured or some shit.
4. Soak Up The Sun With Wine In The High Line Park
Despite all of the nightclubs we love in Meatpacking, its also the start of an elevated public park thats built right on a historic train line. The High Line (dont get it twisted with the hotel) runs from Gansevoort Street all the way to West 34th. Its a little under 2 miles long so if you walk the whole thing, it totally counts as cardio for the week day. The park features perfect sunbathing chairs, cute little carts with famous popsicles, and most importantly, an outdoor cafe with a huge selection of beer and wine. Watch the sunset and stay for their stargazing events. Youll have enough Instas to last you like, a week.
5. Order A Beer Pitcher From The Oldest Beer Garden In NYC
It may be a tad out of the way but, once again, YOLO. So if it means venturing out to Astoria by taking the N or the Q, youll live. The oldest and one of the biggest beer gardens in the city is right in Astoria, Queens. They have a menu full of dozens of beers and wines, so even if you just dont like beer, youll def find one that tastes almost like Bud Light. Or, you can just resort to your usual wine. Their happy hours consist of $4 mugs and $14 pitchersa deal you cant pass up in a city thats expensive af.
6. Score A Poolside Pic At One Of JIMMYs Summer Pool Parties
This exclusive hotel in SoHo only opens its pool to the public without a cover charge on Saturdays and Sundays at 3pm. A Jimmy Pool Party has everything you need for a solid pregame or curing a bad hangover. With live DJs, stocked bar, too many guys in finance, and a pool with stunning views, its everything you need for the perfect photo op. Use your own discretion for risking possible STDs in the pool, but other than that, youll have no problem finding enough room for a Bambi candid on the poolside. While youre at it, use our guide for other rooftop bars you should blackout at ASAP.
7. Visit “The Happiest Place On Earth At Least Twice
This is a must-do for any Hamptons- or beer-loverso like, everyone. Have you had your Instagram flooded with people covered in yellow fucking smiley face stickers, looking like theyre having the time of their lives? Well, theyre def at The Boardy Barn. Open only on Sundays (rain or shine), this outdoor tented bar is the place Long Islanders love to get wasted by 3pm at. Its specials are basically dollar beer nights on crack. So, like a shit show. Be prepared to get beer for no more than a couple dollars accompanied with some mud, 90s hits, and a pizza counter for those drunchies. Admission is $20 but all so very worth it. No wonder this place closes at 8pm, youll be blackout by like, 6pm.
8. Get Buzzed Off Of Ice Cream
The gods have heard us. Alcohol + ice cream is now very much a thing. Located in Kips Bay, Tipsy Scoop features a plethora of flavors all infused with alcohol up to five percent. They range from Mango Margarita Sorbet, Cake Batter Vodka Martini, to Spiked Hazelnut Coffee. If you come during their afternoon happy hours, you can get two for the price of one. What a pregame game-changer.
9. Eat On The Water
The Frying Pan, a literal floating lighthouse, is located on Pier 66 on West 26th. Impress your friends with serious brunch upgrades by opting to eat and drink on this docked bar with an unreal view of the Hudson River. You can choose from a number of beers, wines, and liquors, as well as a variety of food to hold you over. Since The Frying Pan is right on the water, you probs wont be able to tell the difference between you actually being drunk or just moving along with the waves. Either way, you wont even care, just try not to vom.
10. Splurge On An Overpriced Music Festival On Some NYC Island
Your summer isnt really complete until you pay like, $300 for a music festival you hardly remember in New York. With Panorama coming up this weekend, what better time to spend an obscene amount of money on a festival full of good music, wannabe hippies, and an unhealthy amount of alcohol. The upcoming 3-day music fest will take place on Randalls Island, featuring artists like Frank Ocean, Tame Impala, Kiiara, Tyler the Creator, and tons of other people you probably dont know. The creators of Coachella came up with this festival too so, this is as close as youll get to being Vanessa Hudgens on the East Coast anyway. See the full lineup and buy tickets here.
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